Life

Just define your goals, and recognize that some goals are incompatible with others.

Is it really priority number 1 for you to be in music? If so, then just do that, and you're fine, because you're doing what you want to do. Or is it priority number 1 to be able to provide for yourself and those you love consistently and reliably? If so, then first you need to admit that to yourself, and then find the best way for you to be able to do that. You'll be fine that way too, because you're doing what you want to do, which is to be able to provide for your own family.

Really, your only problem is that you don't know what you want. If you really wanted to be in music, what concern is it of yours that it will lead you nowhere? If music is your goal, then get in music, and wherever it leads you is not your concern. If it's more important to you to have a stable, comfortable future, then find a way to make a good income and forget about music except maybe as a hobby. Realize you're still doing what it is that you want most, and you'll be happy.

People who ask these sorts of questions and mope around are really thinking too hard and making the whole issue much more difficult than it has to be.They also have a problem with not knowing themselves very well. Just answer this question: what one thing do you really really want more than anything else? You have to be able to answer that before you can even start deciding what you want to do.

Talking about dreams makes everything confusing, because everyone dreams about everything at one point or another. Also, dreams are so difficult to define. Yes I dream about being an astronaut, but does that mean I actually want to do it? Or when I say dream, do I mean that I really want to do that at the cost of all else? "My dream" really doesn't have any clear meaning whatsoever.

For this specific situation, I have a roommate in a very similar situation who also doesn't know what he wants to do. My advice to him has always been that you can get a degree in something else, business like both of yall are doing and that will provide you with a stable career path after school. You are then shooting down the rest of my idea right off the bat, but it's still my advice. You make time for your career path, and then you make time for your hobbies...it seems to me that there HAS to be enough time to do more than just school. If you want to take music theory classes, or other types of music classes, take those as your extracurriculars and spare time. So really, this is how he's approaching it right now as well as some other friends of mine have always treated it, he's taking classes and planning on graduating with a stable future...but all of his extra time is either hanging out or doing music composition. Another friend of mine doing the same thing just released his first album with a band he's gotten together with while at school.

So, if your number one goal is to be in a successful band, but you are also afraid of not being stable...take this sort of approach. Get a degree where if the music doesn't work out, you won't be fucked. If you want to really try to make the music thing happen, when you graduate, go off and try it...if it's going somewhere, awesome, your goal is being achieved and you are on your way. If it doesn't, you've got the degree, you've got a career ahead of you and you are still gonna be ok.

yeah, it sounds from your answer like you're mainly interested in doing music, but you feel selfish or guilty about that. You think that the 'right' thing to do is to have a family and provide for them... that's probably what your parents want you to do, and that's probably what most of your friends want to do. But if you can honestly say to yourself that music is your number one goal, then screw providing for others... do music and don't look back. We wouldn't have any rock stars if they all cared more about providing a stable financial future for their children than they did music.

I'm gonna sit down with my parents and discuss options. I have a few options at this point:  Continue on my current path, Move home yet still go to the same school (bout a 40 minute commute without traffic, so I guess it's manageable), or find a band that's already established to play with.  Anyway, thanks for the insight.  I'm just having one of those days where you have a few realizations and I was already in a shitty mood and it all just sort of added up and none of my friends relate to me at all. 

I mean, I think I'm a decent musician.  It's my passion and definitely what I'm best at.  I've been performing for years and people always tell me never to give up cause I'm going to go places and that everything is always solid.  Pissing can attest to that =]

I'm 20, a sophomore in college. 

And Dug, I'll be on 24/7 following December 15th =]  I almost rolled today but didn't for the sake of my grades.

Would running a music store and giving guitar lessions (or whatever you play) sound good to you?

If so you should try and aim for doing that, because doing one of those jobs from what I can tell keeps you VERY informed about the music scene in your area, and even after you are done with school it would be easy to find people to jam with.  Plus you go and teach people to play for some extra bucks when you feel like it, and that should be fun for you if playing is what you truely love doing.  And unless you don't like the idea of running your own store or at least working at one as a manager or something, I think that would also help to further the goal.  Thats pretty much the life of a guy I took guitar lessons from in Peoria was.  He was a cool guy too, it kept him young.  I met his in-laws waiting at a restaurant one time, and they (arent they some of the most critical people of any man?) said they wished he made a little more money, but in the end he provided for his family and they all seemed to love him, you could really tell they actually liked the guy and enjoyed his company.  Part of that I am sure is that his chosen career kept him young.

Anyway ya srsly dewd, you are only 20.  As long as you don't bury yourself with financial commitments like paying for housing and car loans or some shit, it is always feasible to quit working full time and go back to school.  KEY WORDS THOUGH: if you think you might do this, DO NOT MAKE FINANCIAL COMMITMENTS and cock-block yourself from being able to afford going back to school if you wanted, because from everything I have seen, this is what fucks people over who wanted to go back to school but never did. 

I hate to be a big downer here, but it will be really, really hard to make it in music unless you have a good/unique voice, or are the next Eric Clapton.

Yeah right, Eric Clapton would be a huge failure nowadays. You can't make it in music if you have any talent whatsoever. You have to be a mishmash of retarded fags that are marketable and barely able to play instruments. You also have to be willing to give up on playing your own songs and play the songs that a record producer has written for you. Also, you have to dress like a douchebag.

All you have to do is prove you can write good music (breakout release).  Then once a record label sees this, they'll sign you and usually tell you what type of good music to write.  Also, make you wear gay clothes, shoot gay videos, and pose for gay photos.

But hey, at least I'm doing what I have a passion for.

Question:  Which is your passion, music or rock music?

There's a big difference.  If you simply want to play music, there's plenty of opportunity to make money- teaching for example.  Not much, granted, but then you have to ask yourself: which is more important, doing what you want or making a lot of money doing something you hate?

BUT, if your answer is rock music, as in you want to be in a band, travel and play to huge crowds, obviously playing as a lounge singer type musician (or professor) would just NOT do it for you.

so, is your passion music or rock music?

Some of the time I do what I like to do. Rest of the time I do what I have to do.