Originally posted by: Raptor6894
When you side "smart kids" are socially stigmatized you immediately concluded that the "smart kid" would act, look like, have the persona of the geek, nerd, brown-noser, whatever. That to me isn't true. There are plenty of really smart people who probably were well-liked by their friends, went to the parties, did all that stuff, but also had a good/smart head on their shoulders.
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Again, you could say "oh its cuz its a private school so its different."
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If you are easy to get along with, people won't care how well you do in school. If you are the weird kid who huddles up in the back and doesn't talk to anyone and is smart, then you're gonna get picked on.
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So, all in all, the assertions you make about social acceptance, attractiveness, and that being more important that smart may be true. However, thats as far as the stigma goes, if you are more attractive (both socially and physically) you will get made fun of less. How you do in school doesn't really matter.
I may not have made myself entirely clear, my assertion is not that being smart automatically means that a person is going to start wearing double-thick glasses and pocket protectors, its the fact that a person who consistently outperforms his peers necessarily alienates himself in so doing. It doesn't matter what he looks like or how he acts, if he always gets A's, the rest of the B-C average classmates are going to notice and judge him as such. At best he's "the smart kid" (or one of the smart kids).
I say 'at best' because if this person has an identifiable flaw, whether its in the way he dresses, his social skills, skin problems, whatever, those who are jealous of his high marks will latch onto it and make fun of him incessantly about it, for no other reason than to make them feel better about themselves. As time goes on, the rift becomes clearer and clearer, and before long, what used to be a normal kid who happens to do above-average in school, is convinced himself that he is a geek or nerd, and everyone else in the class thinks so as well. As LC said, they don't come out of the womb this way, its a social distinction which is created based on school performance, and is subject to a huge amount of ridicule and abuse. Just take any of the 'nerd power' genre movies starting with Revenge of the Nerds in the 80s, which have become increasingly common since then. Not all of those guys were really geeky or weird, in fact some of them were really charismatic, nice people. They all suffered the same way though, which is the stigma that I'm describing. Have you never heard of cases where students go out of their way to hide their good grades from their peers, or purposely do poorly on a test, just so that they could fit in better?
FYI I also went to a private school, which generally has a negative impact on my ability to gauge the various situations in public schools, but I see the exact same thing I'm describing in private schools, to no lesser degree. I managed to escape the bulk of the nerd treatment myself only because I also did a lot of athletics, and I didn't get along very well with the guys that 100% retreated into dungeons and dragons and the like.
Originally posted by: LiQuiDcHeEsE
it's a bigger problem than just alienating smart people: it's a problem where we alienate different people. Even the social outcasts do this. The _____ crowd (fill in the blank: stoner, geek, gamer, goth, skater, emo, etc) will NOT be around anyone different than them either.
And sure, it clears up around college, for the majority of us. (the greek system seems to be the one strong exception, where you don't get in unless you're beautiful and can attract beautiful people of the opposite sex. Along with that, you have to be an asshole to everyone not in the system. (I understand that you were in a frat, KG; I'm not condemning someone for the fact that they were in a frat, though many frat guys have lived up quite well to the stereotype.))
That's a good point, though the case of alienating people for doing well in my mind is a particularly significant one, because it's the only time that someone is alienated for a decidedly GOOD quality. All of those others you mentioned are at best a neutral characteristic, at worst a destructive one. I can't think of anything else which people get made fun of for doing well - athletics, art/music, physical attractiveness are all qualities which are universally adored. Intelligence is the ONLY one which is viewed as a negative, especially when the person isn't humble about it. Athletes, artists, and supermodels however can generally brag all they want (to a point) and still be loved.
Also FYI, I was never in a frat, though I purposely made it sound ambiguous when I mentioned it in that halo thread. I did have a lot of friends that were frat members, but I never ended up in one because I wasn't a fan of the constant and unrelenting obsession with and consumption of alcohol. If there had been a dry fraternity on my campus, I probably would have joined.
Originally posted by: hubris
He "got" that way because of his personality, which is almost entirely genetic.
Personality is almost entirely genetic? I've never heard anyone say that before with a straight face, and I disagree vehemently. Its certainly partially determined by genetics, but at least 50% is the way you were raised, whether you had any developmental trauma, and any number of other factors. That's what the entire (unresolved) 'nature versus nurture' debate is in psychology.
Well knows he who uses to consider, that our faith and knowledge thrives by exercise, as well as our limbs and complexion. Truth is compared in Scripture to a streaming fountain; if her waters flow not in a perpetual progression, they sicken into a muddy pool of conformity and tradition. A man may be a heretic in the truth; and if he believe things only because his pastor says so, or the Assembly so determines, without knowing other reason, though his belief be true, yet the very truth he holds becomes his heresy.