Are people on the internet ever really your friends? (Page 1 of 2)

No, internet people arent really friends.  Like you said they are 'convienient friends'  I was thinking about this topic just last night.
Mostly in the case where I was playing wow just for the social, but was feeling empty, and wanted to get away from my computer.
The idea here is that while I may be "with friends" as I'm online, I'm actually alone with my computer monitor.  Makes me just want to get away and do something 'social'  ... But if WoW is a MMORPG, which roughly translates to a Social Networking game (at least to me anyway) why would I go do something social when I already am?  Its because those at the other end are doing the same thing.  People long for human interaction, and Internet interaction just isnt the same.
However, where I dont think I can call anyone i've met over the internet a true 'friend'  the internet has indeed helped in developing human relationships that have already existed (see: MSN, E-Mail etc...)

hey look I found the reason everyone ganged up against you.

I definitely consider at least a handful of my e-friends to be true friends of mine. Similarly, some of my "real" offline friendships are pretty shallow - basically relationships of convenience like you said.

That being said, "minor" drama can interfere with any sort of relationship, even offline friendships.

I met a lot of wonderful people through blizzpub and World of Warcraft, I took initiative to get to know them beyond the surface of in-game connections. Some people respond in kind, some prefer to retain their anonymity. I respect those who wish to keep their personal lives private. However those who reciprocate in wanting to be friends; out of game despite the geographical distance, have prove to be very valuable friends to me. It just enhances the gaming experiences with them. And one day if I can afford it, I'd like to fly over and visit every one of them.

Its ironic there are two guys in a neighbouring country down south whom I've known for a while now through WoW, and still have not manage to find time to meet up with them.

d-end offered to share an apartment with me should I ever go over. does that count?
oh and he is starting a hentai comic collection...

<Errrrrrr> I LIKE COCK
<Errrrrrr> you can quote me now

I consider some of my internet friends just as good of a friend as my regular friends. Me and JohnnyB have been playing games together for around 6 or 7 years now and I definitely consider him a friend. I have even gone to visit him. Lynch, coop, ian, and aaron are also real friends. I have been playing games with them and bullshitting on vent with them for close to 4 years now. I have only met lynch in real life, and I havent talked to him in a few months, but I still consider him a friend. I consider them more of a friend than my former coworkers who I may have had drinks with and had a lot of fun with, but they were merely acquaintances, not friends.

I don't consider anyone in my guild to be my friend, but they are good acquaintances, not any less meaningful than my coworkers.

Basically, I don't have to be able to physically touch someone to consider them my friend. I don't go around pawing my friends usually. Me and my online friends sit around and bullshit just like my real friends. Its just that we sit around and bullshit over voice chat while playing a random game, rather than sitting around my house bullshitting.

However, if your contact to a person is limited solely to a game, such as most peoples contact with their guild. Then, no, I wouldn't say they are your friends. They are merely acquaintances. It really just depends on your attachment to each other. If the game didn't exist would you still want to talk to each other.

@ 1111111111111 and hubris : ya that might be the reason, but I don't know if that really makes it any better.  If you had a friend IRL who would start treating you like dirt from that point on, the second some bitchy elitist woman (who may or may not actually be a girl) happened to catch you at the wrong time, how "invested" would you allow yourself to become in that friendship after that point?  You know what I would do with an RL friend at the point?  I would confront them about the fact they are treating me like shit over this trivial disagreement, and if they stuck by their decision, I'd say fuck it.  I'd rather go spend my time with a friend who isn't so shallow.  Why should I waste my time with people like that?  Thats bullshit. 

One guy in my guild that it was particularly inconvenient and future-drama inducing to be on bad terms with I eventually just talked to privately and suggested we forget about the shit that happened because it was a lot more fun talking about warlock stuff than kicking each other in the balls.  Luckily he agreed, but wtf I had to go to HIM about this.  So no I don't feel as inclinded to stay in the guild for the sake of this "friendship" anymore, but at least we arent on bad terms now.

@ magis - it isn't that I dont "want* to call anybody on the internet my friends.  It is that I don't trust them to think of me as an actual person because they all seem ready to cut ties with me the second the friendship is no longer "agreeable".  It seems like the majority of people are like this on the internet...they are not *all* probably...but how can you tell the difference?   

Kony : I might call those people you named friends too (at least ones I have played a lot of games with too, like Aaron, Ian, etc)  but *ONLY* because the feeling seems mutual.  They are kind of a rare breed of people.   They seem like they would genuinly like to hang out with us if possible and be friends.  At least thats the feeling I get...

Anyway, from experience, I *definitely* wouldn't make exceptions for forums Magis, and/or even people you have talked to a long time on the internet Kony.  At least not by virtue of the fact that just because it is a forum, or you have been talking for 6 years.  Like I said, its not that I don't want to call people on the internet my friends, its just there is a line I prefer not to cross unless the person goes out of their way to show me the friendship is worth a shit to them.  Like with the case of Aaron, me and him actually talked once like he should come move over here and if he did this I would seriously consider being his roommate.  You talked me out of it though Kony because he may or may not get me in trouble   But I would definitely like to hang out with him sometime.

I would consider Crast one of my friends. He stayed at my apartement for 3 days hung out with me toured houston went to dinner etc and he didn't steal anything!!

There are very few people on the internet I'd consider an actual friend - but those that are, I wouldn't think twice about.

I feel that one way to judge if someone's really your friend is if you make time out of your day out of the usual to hang with them / talk with them / whatever.    Every semester I make 'friends' in my class, but most of them are such of convenience.   Study groups, people you see in the lab, people you sit next to, you'll talk to them in class and before/after class, but not really outside of that context much.   The question then is, would you go make time to hang out with them outside of the normal context you see them?   Have you attempted to do so? (Like, take the conversation to email, IM, phone, text message, whatever)  If one of them drunk dials you at 2am, would you pick up?     Also, if they disappeared from the internets for a long time, would you try and track them down?

The internet friends I'd actually consider friends I find myself making time to talk to them, and that's really the only difference, the desire to talk to the person as a person, not because they are giving you DKP.

I broke Paul's computer chair, though.

"Throw away logic and kick reason to the curb"

I met my girlfriend through WoW - sort of.

ITS RELEVANT

I consider a handful of the people I've met over the course of playing AO and WoW my close friends.

I actually had a friend in my guild pre-bc pass away. 15 years old and died of a stroke. It was a pretty heavy experience but I couldn't honestly say if it was because I considered him a friend, he was so young, or because I'm overly sensitive to things of this nature.

e: This is contrast to when a very close friend in RL was killed in a car accident and I went into a 2 month depression.